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lifesaver247
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Name: Wayne
Country: United States
State: Indiana
Metro: Lafayette
Birthday: 7/3/1982
Gender: Male
Interests: Living 4 God, Emergency Medicine, Naturepathic Medicine, Flight, SCUBA Diving, Snow Skiing, Electronics, etc...
Expertise: Research & Development, Educating, & EMS
Occupation: Government
Industry: Medical
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  saving_life_247
Yahoo:  divedaddy03
Member Since:
8/28/2005
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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| I just added a video that I made for Alivia's 1 Year B-day party!!! Hope you like it! | | |
| This has to be one of the best pictures I have seen in a long while!!!!
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| Isn't this sweet!!! I just downloaded the Yahoo! Widgets engine and there was a screenshot widget that makes it soooo easy to capture and save screenshots to any picture file type. Just thought that I'd share it with ya!   Picture of my desktop and an active browser window! 
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| SUMMARY OF MY LAST YEAR ON THE COMPUTER
I
must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue
on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope
that needs sealing.
Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I
no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny
Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I
no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive
the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special e-mail program.
I
no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out
for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day
Thanks
to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward
an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I
no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car
so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.
I
no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans .
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
And
thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave
anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I
no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number
for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda ,
Singapore , and Uzbek istan
I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
Thanks
to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown
African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when
it bites my butt.
Thank
you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney has given us. I can live
a better life now because he's told us how to fix everything.
And
thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 I dropped in
the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a molester
waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
O h, and don't forget this one either! I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!
If
you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70
minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM
this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...
Have a wonderful day....
Oh, by the way.....
A
South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has
discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their
e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late | | |
| A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is ... an auto parts store?"
"No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon."
"Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, "What are the beans for Blondie?"
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"
FOR ONCE THE BLOND GETS EVEN!
P.S. Make Someone Smile Today. | | |
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